


Cibophobia

by lucifel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Brotherhood, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucifel/pseuds/lucifel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John learns Sherlock doesn't feel indifferent to food, he fears it. (If you have issues with weight and/or food this may be triggery.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cibophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Ficlet for those of us stuck at home this NYE :)
> 
> Written for [this](http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5564.html?thread=18437308#t18437308) prompt on the kinkmeme.

1\. When Sherlock is six, there is a vacation in Laos. Mummy tames an elephant, father builds a skiff, and Mycroft falls in love with the local cuisine. By the end of the first week Mycroft is chubby and Sherlock is cross. By the end of the second, Sherlock is in hospital and Mycroft needs new clothes. When Mummy asks, Sherlock refuses to explain that he'd been hiding (and disposing of) his meals because, one day, Mycroft had given him an eggshell with a half-developed chick in it. To eat!

2\. One summer, there is a camp. It is dirty, damp, and sometimes cold. The other children are mean. But there is plenty to explore and lots to do so Sherlock does all right until the day he faints from hunger. When Mummy asks, he explains that there were so many new things to learn, he'd forgotten to eat. When Mycroft asks, he explains about the storage room and the centipede he'd seen crawling over the bread.

3\. When he is ten, father allows Sherlock to learn Biology. Biology is horrific. There are parasites that burrow into the flesh of livestock and leave eggs. There are viruses that incubate in vegetables and phages that can survive almost anything. There is even bacteria that dies but then doesn't. Sherlock doesn't understand how people live with it. Why they would bother to eat such dangers. When he voices these thoughts, Mycroft makes him take supplements. Makes him eat. Watches to make sure he doesn't slip himself any syrup of ipecac. This is when Mummy starts insisting upon the therapists.

4\. Sherlock hates Mummy. He isn't some _girl_. It has nothing to do with being thin. The stupid doctors _won't_ understand that the food simply isn't safe.

5\. Mycroft points out that neither is starving.

6\. By the time Mycroft leaves for University, he is twice the size the doctors say he should be and Sherlock is so skinny that he looks half starved. However, they have more or less worked out a system that Sherlock can live with. Honey is an antiseptic. Bread can be toasted when sliced and crusts can be thrown out. Apples can be peeled and the contaminated flesh removed. Preserves are all right so long as Sherlock has seen them prepared and checked their temperature himself. Over the years, the list grows slowly longer. Still, Sherlock takes more supplements than not.

7\. As he studies chemistry, Sherlock is disappointed to find that there is no way to completely replace the natural intake of food. Eventually, he gives up trying. He also gives up on University.

8\. At the age of twenty-one, Sherlock finally hits his long awaited growth spurt. Mycroft, who is valiantly battling his third voyage towards obesity that decade, assures him that it would've come sooner if Sherlock would "just bloody eat". That Christmas, Sherlock pushes all of his puddings and cakes onto Mycroft's plate at the dinner table and smiles sweetly when Grandmama compliments him for "remembering Mycroft's favorites".

9\. The cocaine is amazing. It erases the hunger and soothes the fear when he has to eat. If his conclusions are irrational, Sherlock is generally too high to notice.

10\. Angelo's is the first case Sherlock takes when he finally gets clean. In return, Angelo insists on being allowed to fatten Sherlock up. It doesn't work, not precisely, but Angelo takes a bite of everything before he gives it to Sherlock and lets Sherlock sit in his kitchen while he makes every dish. Angelo complains that Sherlock is worse than his first wife with the bickering and the nagging and the hand washing, but Sherlock eats more than he has in years. (Still, at the end of it, when he leaves for America, he's still too thin.)

11\. In Florida, the humidity reminds Sherlock of Laos. Most days, he's too frightened to eat. (Too busy. Too bored. Too occupied. It's all just transportation anyway.) Luckily, the condominium the Hudson's are renting is air conditioned and Mrs. Hudson cleans her kitchen with far too much bleach. Sherlock tells himself that he can deal with the bleach. Chemical poisoning he is prepared for.

12\. Sherlock never drinks Molly's coffee. Ever. Though he'll concede that she keeps a spotless morgue.

13\. When John moves in, Sherlock is terrified of what will become of his kitchen. He covers as many surfaces as he can in experiments, and brings home as many body parts as Molly will allow . Thankfully, this limits John to milk and the occasional left over.

14\. Until it doesn't.

15\. The first time, it is an accident. Sherlock is exhausted, Molly is on leave, and John has been grumbling about the cleaning for days. While he is asleep, (and Sherlock doesn't sleep for days and days after this,) Mrs. Hudson cleans out the fridge which allows John to fill it with food. When he realizes what's happened, Sherlock backs away from the machine in horror.

"Oh come on now," John says when he sees him, "it's not as if she threw away anything important. I'm sure you can replicate the millipede experiment at Barts. You know, _using the fridge there_."

Sherlock doesn't know what to say. There is spinach in the crisper. (Spinach, like that salmonella outbreak in the states last year.) There are eggs. (Sherlock hasn't touched an egg since he was six.) There is food in their frige and John intends to eat all of it. The urge to grab John and run from the kitchen is almost physical.

For the first time in his life, Sherlock finds himself terrified not of the food he _has_ to eat but of the food that John _will_ eat.

He unplugs the fridge and lets it all go bad. John throws most, but not all, of it out.

16\. John cannot believe how much honey Sherlock takes in his tea. Honey is an antiseptic. It counters the dangers of the tealeaves.

17\. At the hospital, after Moriarty, Sherlock insists on a nutrient IV and refuses to take solid food. Somehow, instead of making jokes about hospital food, John spends their entire stay watching him. Mycroft does too.

18\. The second time, Sherlock doesn't realize that it's an experiment. Rather, he thinks that John is helping Mrs. Hudson prepare Christmas dinner. There is salad, there are geese, there are shellfish. Sherlock thinks _pesticides_ , _parasites_ , and _mercury poisoning_. He barricades himself on the sofa until all of it has been transferred to Mrs. Hudson's. That night, he forgoes sleep to scrub down the kitchen like she'd taught him. (With far too much bleach.) He nearly passes out from the effort.

19\. Sherlock is losing weight again. Mycroft's noticed. Angelo tries to help, but it isn't enough.

20\. One day, there is a box in the mail for John. A very large box, from the United States. Sherlock is surprised when John says that it's actually for him.

"It's from a friend of mine, an American Marine. Was bloody expensive too."

Sherlock is curious, and doesn't understand when he opens the box to find more boxes.

"They're called MREs. Standard US military issue. We occasionally swapped meals for the hell of it in Afghanistan. Stuff's so chemically processed that they're really just one ingredient short of being Soyelant Green." For once, it's a good thing that Sherlock misses the reference. John doesn't mention that he'd bought the American stuff figuring Sherlock would know less about it than its British equivalent. "It's not like normal food Sherlock."

Sherlock freezes, hand hovering over a silver foiled pack. His voice is distinctly neutral when he says, "You noticed."

"I'm a doctor."

"Not the right sort."

"Well no. But I've an alcoholic for a sister and spend the majority of my days watching you deduce things." Which was true. "Wasn't really sure till Christmas but, well. You barricaded yourself on the couch."

Sherlock wasn't sure what to say. He tightened his hand around the MRE.

"Look, Sherlock, the important bit is that it isn't like normal food but it's got the nutrients and you need to eat. Let me heat one up for you?"

Sherlock doesn't know what to do. But this is John, and John wouldn't hurt him. And, these days, Sherlock is frequently more worried about what _John_ might eat. So he, rather reluctantly, consents.

"All right. But you should eat one too."

John does.

21\. It isn't easy, but Sherlock works at it. With John there, it's a little bit easier.


End file.
